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Time for Change: A Promise Unfulfilled

Well, Obama has been the president elect now for over twelve hours and, I have to say, I’m a bit disappointed.  I voted for Barack Obama because he stood on a platform of real change.  I woke up to quite a few changes this morning, none of which were exactly what I wanted.

First of all, one of the downstairs toilets was backed up, and shit was coming up through the shower.  This wasn’t the kind of change I anticipated whatsoever.  My parents, who are staying in the guest room, weren’t happy about this particular change either.  They were hoping for more racial equality, not poo between their toes while they try to clean themselves.  Would Sarah Palin have let this happen?

I feel like such a fool.

Also, DirecTV woke me up at 7:30 in the morning to talk to me about the installation of my new hardware.  They have never ever called me this early before.  I thought that Obama was media-savvy and this sort of crap was going to be avoided.

My family rejoicing.  We were so happy and naive back then, at eight o’ clock last night.

In addition, I have a little headache and I feel queasy from the cigars I smoked last night.  Cigars I smoked IN CELEBRATION OF OBAMA’S VICTORY!  And yet, this is my thanks.  I suppose this is progress: a fucking headache.  I feel conned.

None of these changes were the ones I thought were coming.  I was hoping for my iPhone 3G to hold power longer under the approaching Obama administration, but no go.  It’s still the same energy-sucking piece of shit it was yesterday.  Von Spears still throws squeaky toys at my face when I try to sleep.  My cleaning lady doesn’t understand a lick more of English than she did before Obama was elected president.  And I just checked my penis and it is EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE IT WAS YESTERDAY. What about our chant? – "YES WE CAN (have two inches added to each of our penises)!!" Didn’t you hear that?

My sister Beth, moved by the Obama victory, not realizing her husband Alec’s premature ejaculation problems were not over.

Not to mention, I am still procrastinating from drawing storyboards by writing dumb blogs for MySpace.  Barack Obama hasn’t improved my work ethic whatsoever.  I’m still the lazy, greedy attention whore I was when I woke up on the morning of November 4th.  Thanks a heap, "President Obama."  The more things change, the more things stay the same.  

Still a dick.

© 2008 – 2009, Just Linda. All rights reserved.


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