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100 COMPLETELY OVERRATED THINGS

100 THINGS THAT ARE COMPLETELY OVERRATED

Many of these things I don’t hate or, in some cases, even dislike – I simply think they are, well, completely fucking overrated. It was created with the help of my brothers Brian, Sean, Patrick, and Matt, my cousin Mark, Terra Naomi, and my friend Stevie Blackehart. They don’t all agree about ALL of the things on the list (I still think Stevie is going to kill me for #5), but we’re all on board with the vast majority of them.

Enjoy.

100. FORREST GUMP

99. The Shield

98. “Hey Jude”

 

97. EXCALIBUR

96. THE SOUND AND THE FURY

95. Blowjobs

94. Watermelon

93. Tupac Shakur

92. THE STING

91. Vladimir Nabokov

90. THE EXORCIST

 

89. SHREK

88. Mass Effect (Video game)

87. Edward Norton

86. AKIRA

85. John Wayne

 

84. Yoga

83. The West Wing

 

82. The Colosseum

 

81. EASY RIDER

80. Koala bears

79. Harrison Ford

78. Scarlett Johansson’s looks

77. THE ROAD WARRIOR

76. Gandhi

75. LOST IN THE FUNHOUSE

 

74. Kevin Spacey

73. Ronald Reagan

72. THE INCREDIBLES

 

71. Old black blind blues singers

70. Angelina Jolie’s hotness

69. MGMT

68. Heroes

67. HAROLD AND MAUDE

66. Jack “King” Kirby

65. SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE

64. SIN CITY

 

63. The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion (Video game)

62. Jeff Buckley

61. Monk

60. Porsches

59. THE SWEET HEREAFTER

58. ON THE ROAD

 

57. Enormous tits

56. Coldplay

55. Annie Liebowitz

54. ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE

53. Mad Men

52. San Francisco

51. Chiropractors

50. RINGU

 

 

 

49. BLADE RUNNER

 

48. Malcolm Gladwell

47. In-n-Out Burger

46. Californication

45. The Prius

44. Frank Miller

43. Early Saturday Night Live

42. Philosophy

41. A FISH CALLED WANDA

40. Tim Robbins

 

39. Girl Scout Cookies

38. ALMOST FAMOUS

 

37. Gerbils/hamsters/guinea pigs as pets

36. BATMAN (Tim Burton movie)

35. GOOD WILL HUNTING

34. Cesar Milan

33. The Liberty Bell

32. Oliver Stone

31. Wes Anderson (except BOTTLE ROCKET)

30. Jack Black

29. CHILDREN OF MEN

 

28. Icanhascheezburger.com

27. The iPhone

 

26. Vampires

25. BATMAN BEGINS

24. THE WARRIORS

 

23. Sex with virgins

22. Chocolate

21. The original HALLOWEEN

20. GLADIATOR

19. The Doors

18. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

 

17. Tom Hanks

16. MIDNIGHT COWBOY

15. SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

 

14. Drew Barrymore

 

13. SAY ANYTHING

 

12. New Orleans

11. Jon Stewart, post 2007

 

10. Basquiat

 

9. John F. Kennedy

8. U2

7. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

6. Terrence Malick

 

5. Jazz

 

4. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID

 

3. The Bible

 

2. Led Zeppelin

 

1. Unicorns

That’s right, UNICORNS are the number one most overrated thing of all time. A horse with a horn on its head?! Who gives a shit? How the hell did this dumb ass fake animal survive in the consciousness of little girls and other assorted freaks for thousands of years? A rhino – which is real – is infinitely more interesting. I could think up a more amazing mythical creature than a unicorn in about two seconds. How ‘bout this: A squirrel with a fish head and human eyes? Now THAT would be some crazy weird magical shit that would look awesome with a rainbow behind it. Add some crab claws as hands and you’re shitting your pants from fear and coming at the same time. You guys may disagree with many of my above choices – some of them may even piss you off – but, you have to admit, unicorns, which are considered amazing, beautiful, and magic, are just complete pieces of shit.

Feel free to post your comments, misinformed criticisms, and applause below.

See you soon!

James

EDIT – I was sent these awesome motherfuckers on TWITTER:


Thanks to Steve Agee (yes, the star of THE SARAH SILVEMAN SHOW – follow his funny ass on twitter at www.twitter.com/steveagee) — I’m going to get a tattoo of this motherfucker on my chest, bursting out of my rib cage!


Thanks to Derek Deal (www.twitter.com/derekdeal)


Thanks, Dan[iel]!

Know when I’m drinking a cup of coffee, taking a shit, or noting how interesting it is that Thandie Newton decided to play Condoleeza Rice as Urkel in W on TWITTER.

Watch PG PORN: SQUEAL HAPPY WHORES HERE

And… I’m on FACEBOOK!
 

© 2009, Just Linda. All rights reserved.

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