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My 25 Most Popular Blogs

Over the past few years of writing blogs for MySpace and JamesGunn.com, a few of them have received more attention than others.  As we’re just starting up with the new website, I thought it might be fun to revisit some of these old blogs.  I have a BEST OF THE BLOGS section just over to the right, which, along with the LISTS, are my favorites.  However, the ones that follow are the most popular, in order of hits on my web site and MySpace combined:

1. 50 Ways to Call Someone Cocksucker in a Compliment

This particular blog was picked up by quite a few humor and pop culture web sites, including Cracked.com and Gorillamask.net.  It includes such wonderfully touching sentiments as #3, "Hey, cocksucker, hand me a beer… Wow, thanks!  You did a really great job of handing that to me, cocksucker," and #20 "For a driver’s license picture, cocksucker, that looks pretty good.  I’d fuck that person."  No, it’s not exactly high art, but it is, for the time being, the most popular blog I ever posted.

2. 100 Completely Overrated Things

I honestly didn’t think I’d be offending anyone by putting Unicorns at number one.  Boy, was I wrong. This gathered a lot of attention, a lot of which wasn’t positive.  With over 580 comments on MySpace (actually, well over 600, but if people became too abusive – as some Led Zep fans are prone to doing – I’d delete their comments), it was the second most commented-on MySpace blog I ever posted (the first was a contest, and people had to answer to win prizes, which made it a little different).  As I later admitted, some of the things on this list were more on there to be funny than anything else (blowjobs and jazz, for instance), but I do believe most of this shit is pretty fucking overrated.

3. Secrets of Amsterdam’s Red Light District  

This was the story of "Emma", a prostitute I interviewed in the Red Light District in Amsterdam.  I guess this was one of my blogs that had a little more heart than others, as I really did feel for the girl.  Since my divorce, I have been asked many times at conventions, screenings, etc, whether I actually fucked this girl.  The answer is resoundingly no.  I partook of no sexual activity with Emma nor any of the other girls in the Red Light District.  One of the reasons I think this blog got passed around was because of the revelation of "fake fucking" – that is, much of the time, the girls don’t actually have sex with the men, they sit on them reverse cowgirl position and use their hands like a vagina, and say they’re fucking. What I don’t have in the blog, is that I actually checked this out with at least two other prostitutes, who both confirmed that most of the girls didn’t actually fuck the guys.  Emma was the only one, however, who claimed to give fake blowjobs.  The other two thought that would be too risky.

4.  I’m on STRIKE!!!

This was posted the day after the Writer’s Guild went on Strike, and was picked up by and linked to by a lot of national and international web sites.  The reaction to the blog overall was very supportive and actually touching.  However, I did get a minority of very, very angry messages and postings, calling me a "spoiled brat," etc.  This was irritating, as I lost a shitload of money personally because of the strike, but supported it for the good of all writers and our future.  I was also irritated because this blog, which I wrote in a few minutes and hurriedly posted, got so much more attention than some of the much better blogs below. 

5. ADVICE BLOG 1: Do You REALLY Want to Be in the Film Industry?

I was getting a lot of messages asking for advice on how to get into the film industry, and thought I’d try to answer everything in a series of advice blogs.  I actually put a lot of work into this, and, probably because of the time it took, haven’t yet written "Advice Blog 2"!  I was getting asked a lot about how to get an agent, something I don’t really know about because the agents found ME – but that was after nearly ten years of hard work, and completing an entire feature film.  This blog is about the steps I believe are needed to find your personal truth about being in the film industry, something necessary to taking the second step.  Maybe I’ll write that second step advice blog soon…

6. My 25 Favorite TV Characters

In rereading over this list, I’m a little embarrassed to have put my wife and brother on there.  It seems a little silly and obvious, but oh well.  Whedonesque had a lot to do with the popularity of this blog.  They posted a note about it on their site, and then Joss Whedon posted HIS list of 25 Favorite TV Characters, at which point a lot of web sites, including EW.com, posted links to our individual lists.  Overall, I think this is one of my weaker lists but, what the hell.

7. RED HAT NATION, thus far…

When the SLiTHER DVD came out with the behind-the-scenes, I got a lot of shit for the goofy red rain hat the costume department had given me to wear in the wet Vancouver weather.  One morning I woke up to check my MySpace page and discovered that nearly all of my top friends had conspired to have red hats Photoshopped onto their avatars.  From there, the red hats grew like a disease, until there were thousands of MySpace folks with red hats atop their heads, many of whom had no idea where the idea really started.  I started posting in this blog all of the Photoshopped red hats people were sending me.  After a while, though, it became too crazy and I couldn’t keep up.  But this blog still features a fuckload of red hats, if you’re interested in that sort of thing.

8. Humanzees

I wrote this blog after a night on the town joking around about humanzees with Pete Alton, Michael Rosenbaum, and Chris McDonald.  This blog was so popular, and I thought it was so funny myself, that I decided to make a whole web show about a humanzee.  That show still hasn’t seen the light of day – in part because it was too hot for XBox, and in part because I’ve been too busy with PG PORN to commit to more episodes.  But I promise that it will be seen at some point.

9. My 250 Favorite Power Pop Songs of All Fucking Time

Some of my list blogs are all about overkill, and this one is the prime example – but, I swear, I cut this thing down from my 500 favorite power pop songs.  My music blogs in general aren’t as popular as my movie blogs, but this one got linked to by the power pop community online.  I almost certainly put more work into it than any other blog on this list, as I obsessively played with the order of songs for months beforehand. 

10. 33 Tattoos I’m Not Going to Get

I was joking around with Terra Naomi one night about some really bad ideas for tattoos (I really was thinking about getting another tattoo at the time).  This list was the result.  I got a little guff for including a photo of "a kid in my neighborhood who killed himself" as part of a joke – but, let it be known, the photo is actually not that of a kid I knew who killed himself, but of some random dude on the web.

11. Adventures in Vegas and at the Porn Convention

People reacted quite positively to this blog, especially the photos of Stevie Blackehart with the twinks (Stevie’s hilarious in that he agreed to pose for all of them – we approached these people completely seriously).  I wrote this blog during a particularly insane time in my life; the behind-the-scenes would be a little more fucked up than what I posted here.

12. Why People See Horror Movies – a Response to the Guy Who Created Dilbert

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, posted a blog about how anyone who watches horror movies is sick – he, for some reason, automatically assumed that everyone who watched horror movies watched them from the point-of-view of the killer, which couldn’t be further from the truth – most people actually sympathize more with the victim.  His post seemed elitist and ignorant, so I posted this answer blog.  I remember at the time, Jenna thought my response was too mean to Adams.  I actually removed a couple of more mean-spirited jokes, to make it a mite more civil.  She still thought it was too harsh, but I posted it anyway.  I have no idea if Adams ever read my response but, if he did, I never heard from him.

13. The Creepiest Things You’ll Ever See

I saw some retouched pageant photos online, which gave me the willies in a half-pleasant way (I love stuff that creeps me out), and had the enormous desire to share them with all of you.

14. 25 Fucking Things I Want for Christmas

This was one of my first blogs to get an enormous amount of hits on MySpace, and it was the first blog I wrote over which I received a substantial amount of angry mail, due to what people saw as "anti-Christian humor."  For the record, I don’t think any of my humor is anti-Christian.  If one believes in God or Jesus, and one believes humor in general is okay, I don’t see why God or Jesus would be upset with being included in that humor.  But that’s just me.  I posted this back when a substantial portion of my reading audience was OFFICE fans, who are, in general, a bit more conservative than, say, horror movie fans. I think I’ve lost a lot of those readers since then, due to blogs like this, as I had almost no negative reaction to the recent "22 Crappy Things Jesus Has Done".

15. Our Motherfucking London Trip! With Lovely Photos!

This was posted at the height of the tabloid interest in myself and Jenna (well, pre-divorce, anyway), and also garnered a lot of attention because it featured a member of the American Office cast going to the wedding of a British Office cast member.  This trip still holds a lot of positive memories – we really did have a great time.

16. Huffington Post Blog Condemning PG PORN

I have a few regrets about this one.  First of all, I’m not sure the woman who wrote the blog condemning PG PORN was completely in her right mind.  Her article was illogical and poorly written: she was an easy target.  So for me to make such a big hoopla about it (and give her a lot more attention than she would have received otherwise) was kind of silly.  It was also a little opportunist on my part – to create an air of controversy around PG PORN, when there really was almost none.  My brother Brian actually made a reasoned response to her blog.  I, however, as usual, was as concerned with being funny as I was with actually coming up with an actual argument, and I made a perhaps callous crack about her not fooling anyone by trying to hide that she was overweight in her photo. After I posted it, a couple of my regular readers said their feelings were hurt by it, which, of course, was never my intent.  However, as a final note, let me say the later episodes of PG PORN have upheld what Brian and I said at that time: the series is NOT about violence to women.

17. The Dead Squirrel Story

This story really happened, and my blog about it was pretty accurate.  It’s also the reason I’m still receiving Photoshopped pictures of dead squirrels, which I have absolutely no use for.

18. Crib Death & Root Beer: 100 Things I Fucking Hate

Quite simply, this was a chance to rant, and in many ways is the forefather of "100 Overrated Things."

19. Finding God at the Antelope Valley Demolition Derby

This was about the first demolition derby I ever attended – I went there with a date – and it ended up becoming a trilogy.

20. Time for Change: a Promise Unfulfilled

I wrote this the morning after Obama was elected, mocking the overly high expectations so many seemed to have of our new Commander-in-Chief.  Believe it or not, I actually got a few messages condemning me for wanting too much of our President before he was even in office.  Clearly, no matter how over-the-top you think you’re being, some people still don’t get the joke.

21. Demo Derby: The Threequel, and Turtle Races

The third demolition derby blog, where the James Gunn Appreciation Society car won the whole thing!

22. Behind-the-Screams Blog: SCREAM QUEENS Episode Four

While I was judging VH1’s SCREAM QUEENS, I’d post a new behind-the-scenes blog every morning after the episode aired.  They were all extremely popular, but this one slightly more than the others, in part because of my brother Sean’s participation.

23. The Greatest Thing Ever in the World of All Time

I posted a lot of blogs like this – just a grab bag of stuff I was into at the time, and various jokes.  This was the most popular of my blogs too non-committal to be about just one thing.

24. Demo Derby 2! Tons of Photos!

This may not have been the most popular demolition derby blog, but it may have been the most fun one to attend.

25. 100 Things I Fucking Love (Part 1 of 1,000)

And thus we end on a positive note.

 

James


MEANWHILE,

If you GO REGISTER NOW to be a part of JamesGunn.com, you will be eligible to win a FREE SLiTHER SCRIPT signed by Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker, Jenna Fischer, Gregg Henry, Tania Saulnier, and myself.  We will pick from ALL registered members at random in the near future.  If you’re already registered, you are already eligible.

Watch PG PORN: HELPFUL BUS HERE.

© 2009, James Gunn. All rights reserved.

Category: LISTS

Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

  • amv86

    Sorry, was I a dick for asking about the “breakup” blog? Sometimes I don’t know my boundaries.

  • John Betz

    I loved all these blogs equally :)

  • Dear James,

    as I am a new subscriber to your site/blog I haven’t read very many of your old blogs. Since you posted this best of blogs post I haven’t gotten any work done as I am now addicted to learning about humanzees and what you want for Christmas. Now I am behind on editing my vids…. if my boss yells at me, then I will just send him you’re way and you can handle it, right? hehehe

    Thanks for posting such interesting shit. I sent a link of your advice blog to my boyfriend as he’s an aspiring director/videographer and doesn’t have a job, I’m kind of hoping he’ll read it and either get motivated to do something about it or get his dreams crushed and get a job somewhere else. Hoooopefully he’ll be inspired by your witticisms and vulgarity. Hurrah!

    ~Anna

  • You know, I didn’t even include the Jenna breakup note. It was too weird – it would have been near the bottom half of the top ten or so.

    I don’t mean to say that Office fans are conservative – I definitely don’t think they are. They’re just generally more conservative than my usual fans (at the time, mostly from Toy Collector, The Specials, Troma, Dawn, and Slither). And there are a few ultra conservative Office fans, who would get upset. Most of these blogs would also appear in the top 10 blogs on MySpace, which would also attract a type of reader I wasn’t used to.

  • amv86

    I am one of those people who started reading your blog as an OFFICE fan, but I am glad I did so and have stuck around! (On a side note: While I know it is very true, it is weird to me that OFFICE fans are so conservative. It’s not an HBO or Showtime comedy, but the humor isn’t totally PC.) These were definitely some great blogs and I remember most when they were originally posted. I think the first blog of yours I ever read was the one about you kissing John Travolta. haha! I’m a little surprised that the blog where you announced your separation with Jenna didn’t rank, as it was picked up and used by many, many, many internet tabloids. So, did you definitely decide not to get another tattoo any time soon?

  • Just Linda

    Good times, indeed!

    That red hat thing was out of control. Who knew Tricia and I goofing around with Photoshop to amuse ourselves would launch that kind of furor on MySpace?

  • I actually got the whole set of Freakies cereal figurines that year! I love ’em.
    The Rape blog got a lot of comments, but nowhere near the most. I took it down so don’t know exactly how many. I may repost it at some point – I read over it today, don’t really have a problem with it.

  • A lot of those blogs I missed out on. Will check out the Best of the Blogs category and catch up on what I can, when I can! :)

  • Marc

    Those were all great. The “25 Things I Want For Christmas” was one that I had not read before, and I have to say…Freakies? A whole vintage set of Freakies? You don’t seem old enough to know about Freakies. The rich kids sent away for the whole set, I had to just try my luck. I came up one short.
    Good times, BossMoss, the Jack Bauer of cerial.

  • Leah

    The strike blog was one of the first I ever read. You gave us ideas on how to help the strikers. Plus you were kind enough to actually respond to questions.
    Dead squirrel was one of the funniest, but I thought your Rape blog got the most responses? Or is that something you never want brought up? It was still freaking funny.

  • I remember the red hat thing on myspace. I did a photoshop for a friend for that, becuase I have mad PS skills! :P

  • Maddy_Bauer

    And I still remember each and every one of them! Good times, man! I think the whole Red Hat thing was fantastic fun, I almost forgot about that one!

  • PoisonedV

    Well, there goes the rest of my afternoon.

  • asil

    those were some great blogs… the memories!



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