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My New Girlfriend

While in Schenectady with the Naomis, celebrating Passover (more on this soon), I made a few new friends.



And Daphne

I had a great time with all of them.  But Daphne seemed to form a special attachment to me, following me around for much of my trip, and slamming violently into the other dogs when I would try to pet them.  It soon became clear she saw me as her own.  While in bed I would often awaken to her monstrous gurgle-snorey breathing sounds, and peer down to see her staring up adoringly at me (completely true).

As I was the subject of Daphne’s obsession, she also became the subject of mine.  I began photographing her incessantly.  Daphne is keenly aware of her own Adriana Lima-esque beauty, and she posed lovingly for each and every one.  I thought I’d share them with you:



I’ll be back soon with Catholic Passover Stories, but, until then, I’ll leave you with Daphne, the night she got a little drunk –






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  • There’s nothing more charming than loose eyeballs rolling all over the place… however I’m a bigger fan of big cuddly things like American Eskimo’s and Alaskan Malamute’s.. whose eyeballs stay in their head just fine!

  • Dude, that pug is awesome. Does she sing “I Will Survive”? But I dig that Maggie dog much more.

    Man, I didn’t know you were so hardcore Catholic. I thought you were one of those don’t-really-give-a-shit kinda Catholics.

  • I say you should write a screenplay about rabid pugs with their eyes dangling out of their sockets.

  • I imagine it makes a ploop sound, but I’ve never heard one fall out. If I did, I’d like to record the sound, put it into a sampler, and write a cool new wave song with it.

  • amv86

    Can I back up to your comment #20? Does it really make a “ploop” sound? The sound would freak me out more than the actual eyeball falling out!

  • Sean, you do realize you own a billion CATS, right?

  • kaisha

    They are all too cute! Thanks for sharing.

  • And yet if James has sex with Rooker he doesn’t collect gay point but instead collects bestiality points. Go figure.

  • SeanGunn

    Man, you just got gay points out the wahzoo.

  • CinemaJunkie

    I love pugs so much! Them and their slobery, snorty goodness.

  • Those dogs are sooooo cute. Daphne is especially adorable. She looks like one of those monsters from “Critters” but way cuter.

    I think as of last week it is decided by others that I’m Doctor Dolittle. Tawny and I went to her sister’s for a dinner and apparently I excite the three dogs of the household in ways nobody can. I don’t mean in a sexual way, just in a manner that sends them through the roof four hours at a time. At the dinner table each one one take turns trying to sit on my lap, and my lap only. Sometimes they’d literally fight each other for a turn (“He’s MY bitch!” they’d bark). The Jack Russell dog got the most love because his body was more lap-friendly. The other dog (a mut the size of a dalmation) was the mid-size dog of the three, and faught with all its might to balance itself (even scratching my throat in the process of trying to kiss me). The german shepherd/sharpie dog was way too big to sit lap-side so he’d usually sit at my feet and give the other dogs a hard time if they spent too much time on my lap.

  • I don’t know which is more adorable, the pug or the fact that she became so attached to you. I was actually saying “awww” as I was looking at the pictures. my aunt has two boston Terriers who love to lick the crap out of everyone, but she also has some kind of Giant mix of like three different big dogs,I forget which ones. I’m 5’5′ and this thing comes up to my mid-waist. yeah, he apparently likes me and follows me around everywhere whenever I come over, it scares me becuase the thing could take me down, and theres nothing I could do…but he doesn’t, Thank God! haha!

  • Seanzor

    Pugs are fantastic, fantastic dogs. I had one but he died, he was a prick but I loved him because of it. He only had one eye when my family and I got him because some kid stabbed him in the eye with a stick. Anyway, he once fell down in our deck, a good two feet or so, and just started barking because he wanted out. Nothing happened to him, he just fell. He would also take himself on walks, only staying on the sidewalk. He was 16 when we put him down, it was a horrible day. But if anyone on here thinks about getting one, do. They’re very, very loyal. Their positives destroy the negatives.

    Anyway, I love the pics of Daphne. They’re such great dogs to take pictures of because they’re so weird.

  • anastasia

    Catholic Passover stories! Can’t wait!

  • BavarianErin

    Oh and one of the other things that can cause displacement of the eyes is if you grab their heads too roughly, sort of where the jaw meets the ear, or if they get hit sharply on the side of the head. It’s very sad.

    And I’ve had more than one person tell me that they don’t like pugs because of their breathing issues and because of their non-typical faces. Those people are what I call “idiots”.

  • BavarianErin

    Daphne is *adorable*! I love pugs and I have an all black one named Paxton Rhubarb. She loves people, especially when they are holding a camera. We ahve never had a problem with Paxton’s eyes, although, we don’t shake her violently. Pugs have lots of other weird issues too, like the dirty, stinky wrinkle that one has to clean, and also their anal glads need “expressing” as they can “clog” more often than other breeds (hence the “scooting”). Also, they can get hip problems and because of their strange bites they often can get weak/loose teeth. And they can’t be outside in the heat for very long. All that said, Paxton is truly a joy, she is the greeter at the comic book store I own and very popular with all the customers.

    I try to encourage everyone I know to consider a pug, they have very large personalities for such small dogs.

    I’m glad you met Daphne, James, I’m sure you’ve made a friend for life!

  • Maggie

    It’s odd. I’ve only met one other human named Maggie, but I have encountered many dogs with that name. So embarrassing to be somewhere and answer to your name only to discover that they were speaking to their dog. Well. I suppose I am well trained. All of that aside, Maggie the Dog looks sweet.

  • John Betz

    Jesus, what a drive lol…I too am thinking of hitting the shelter to get a playpal for my daughter so she can stop beating up the poor old cats…

  • Betz – I flew into NYC and we drove up.

    Tricia – Yeah, it’s a pretty Irish name. But I’m pretty sure that’s always her name!

    Oleifr – Go for the shelter!!

  • Hmmm… I had been planning on a shelter save, although this may clearly be a case of tracking down a good breeder instead.

  • Tricialew

    Lets talk about Maggie…She’s Shiny. AND that’s kind of an Irish Catholic-ish name, hmmmm? What’s up with that? Or did they just tell you her name was Maggie to make you feel welcome? Seriously, they sound like an awesome family. So glad you guys had a great trip.

  • John Betz

    Yeah I’m feeling sick here. James bring us back to a happier subject…

    Did you fly into Stewart, Albany, or somwhere else? Stewart sucks so I hope not there.

  • Tricialew

    I am just so incredibly freaked out by the eyeball popping out tidbit, I’m sitting here not knowing what to say. I never knew that. Now I want to adopt every pug and invent and eyeball holder-inner. Of course I keep seeing a scene from A Clockwork Orange too….bleh!

  • Because the breeding of overly bulbous eyes has gotten so nuts, they can just be sticking too far out of their heads, and, ploop! I’ve met a few one-eyed Pekingnese and Pugs over the years — and have seen one with a dangling eye. It’s not awesome.

  • …What causes them to fall out?

  • Sometimes the eyeballs can be put back in, sometimes not.

  • slappynipsy

    It’s awesome everyone is saying “I love pugs” like there are people out there that see a pug and get angry. Who doesn’t like pugs?

  • I am going to have nightmares over the eyeball thing. Can they be put back in once they fall out or do they lose the eye?

    I have a pom like Elliot. I love poms. They have their share of health issues too, but their eyes stay put.

  • Npettz – No problem.

  • John Betz – I just realized that was a douche thing to say. If I could find a ‘delete comment’ button I’d be hitting it right now.

    Sorry, James. I meant no offense, I just lose control of my prick filter sometimes.

  • Great photos! They’re all very cute dogs! I bet it made you miss Von Spears even more. (Just noticed I need to catch up on a couple of recent past blogs of yours too… soon!)

  • John Betz

    Yikes @ npettz’s comment! Not cool!

  • Cutest pictures ever. With a dash of so-ugly-she’s-cute thrown in.

  • Major downgrade from Jenna.

    I love pugs : )

  • Is it possible that Daphne is more snaggle-toothed than Von Spears??

    If my dog’s eyeballs fell out, I’d fuckin’ die of a heart attack. Geez.

  • John Betz

    Pugs are like Tromettes, They have can have ugly faces and yet are strangely attractive.

  • JCinPBC

    Daphne is adorable and clearly infatuated with you. You got some great shots of her. Boston Terrier’s eyeballs are prone to pop out too.

  • stormy_daze

    well, I can see why you would want Daphne. I’m a little suprised Elliot didn’t get so jealous, but it looks like a match made in heaven with you and Daphney.

    I was wondering where Schenectady is. I thought we had weird town names in Scotland!

  • Oleifr – Sometimes you have to watch out with pugs, because their eyeballs can fall out (I’m not kidding – same is true of Pekingese). Also, they can be a little stinkier than other dogs, more oily, and they snore. But that’s all a part of Daphne’s charm.

  • Tuna – Daphne belongs to Terra Naomi’s mom and dad. I spent the week with them in Schenectady, New York.

  • I’ve been debating between a pug and a dachshund for when I finally get a dog. I think this may have just clinched it in favour of the pug.

  • Haha. I love pugs so much. My goal is to get an all-black one.

  • She’s hot. Who does she belong to?