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The Nominees for the Worst Song Ever – VOTE NOW!

Are you ready?  There were a hell of a lot of nominations for Worst Song Ever yesterday on Twitter and Facebook.  Nominees had to receive more than one nomination or have a special bad-song dispensation from the Pope of Worst (me!)  A few of these I don’t agree with – but most I do.

You can vote on any one of the songs below for the Worst Song Ever, and I’ll post the list of the winners (?) tomorrow.  I suggest you do a YouTube search on some of the songs below.  There are truly some Godawful numbers down there you may not have heard of or have forgotten. 

If you want to promote one of the following songs as the Worst Ever, post a link to a song or video in the comments below so other people will know about it. But, unfortunately, we are not accepting any new nominees.

You can vote here, or on my Facebook or Twitter pages.  If on Twitter use hashtag #worstsong.

Now go for a walk in the Garden of Undelight with a heaping helping of the worst fucking songs ever recorded:


Abracadabra – The Steve Miller Band

Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus
The Addams Family – MC Hammer
Africa – Toto
Afternoon Delight – Starland Vocal Band
All Night Long (All Night) – Lionel Richie
All Star – Smash Mouth
All You Zombies – The Hooters
American Life – Madonna
American Pie – Madonna
And We Danced – The Hooters
Arab Money – Busta Rhymes
Bad Day – Daniel Powter

Barbie Girl – Aqua
Been Around the World – Puff Daddy & The Family
Boogie Woogie Wu – Insane Clown Posse
The Boy Is Mine – Brandy and Monica
Broken Wings – Mr. Mister
Butterfly – Crazy Town
The Cha Cha Slide – DJ Casper
Cherry Pie – Warrant
Christmas Shoes – New Song
City of Crime – Tom Hanks and Dank Akroyd
Close My Eyes Forever – Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne
Cotton Eye Joe – Rednex
Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith
Crank Dat – Soulja Boy
Cryin’ – Vixen
Dancing on the Ceiling – Lionel Richie
Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins
Dem Jeans – Chingy featuring Jermaine Dupri
Der Kommissar – Falco
Disco Duck – Rick Dees
Don’t Give Up on Us, Baby – David Soul

Don’t Pay the Ferryman – Chris de Burgh
Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin
Easy Lover – Philip Bailey and Phil Collins
Ebony and Ivory – Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
Everybody Have Fun Tonight – Wang Chung
Fantasy – Aldo Nova

Fergalicious – Fergie
The Final Countdown – Europe
For the Benefit of Mr. Kite – The Beatles
Freebird – Lynard Skynard
Get Our of My Dreams, Get into My Car – Billy Ocean
Getting’ Jiggy Wit It – Will Smith
Ghostbusters – Ray Parker Jr.
The Girl Is Mine – Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney
Girl You Know It’s True – Milli Vanilli
Gloria – Laura Branigan
Hangin’ Tough – New Kids on the Block
The Heart of Rock & Roll – Huey Lewis and the News
Heartbeat – Don Johnson
Heat of the Moment – Asia
Higher – Creed
Him – Rupert Holmes
Holiday – DJ Sven and MC Miker G
Hot Hot Hot – Buster Poindexter
Hungry Eyes – Eric Carmen
I Am I Said – Neil Diamond
I Can’t Dance – Genesis
I Do (Cherish You) – 98 Degrees

I Eat Cannibals – Toto Coelo
I Hate My Life – Theory of a Deadman
I Wanna Sexy You Up – Color Me Badd
I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
I Will Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) – Meatloaf
Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice
I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred
In the Year 2525 – Zager and Evans
I’ve Never Been to Me – Charlene
Jenny from the Block – J-Lo
Jump in My Car – David Hasselhoff
Jumper – Third Eye Blind
Key Largo – Bertie Higgins
Kokomo – The Beach Boys
The Lady in Red – Chris de Burgh
Liquid Dreams – O-Town

Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong – Spin Doctors
Longer – Dan Fogelberg
MacArthur Park – Richard Harries
Men in Black – Will Smith
Mickey – Toni Basil
Muskrat Love – Captain and Tenille
Must Be the Money – Deion Sanders
My Humps – Black Eyed Peas
A Nightmare on My Street – D.J. Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
No Boundaries – Kris Allen
The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You – Bryan Adams
Pac Man Fever – Buckner & Garcia
Paranoid – Jonas Brothers
Photograph – Nickelback
Popozao – Kevin Federline
Pumps and a Bump – Hammer
Party All the Time – Eddie Murphy
Rapture – Blondie
Rico Suave – Gerardo
Right Here Waiting – Richard Marx
Rollin – Limp Bizkit
Rosanna – Toto
Run Joey Run – David Geddes
Seasons in the Sun – Terry Jacks
Seventeen – Winger
She Bangs – Ricky Martin
She’s Like the Wind – Patrick Swayze
Shiny Happy People – REM
Silent Lucidity – Queensryche
Still… You Turn Me On – Emerson, Lake, & Palmer
Strokin’ – Clarence Carter
Summer Girls – LFO
Sunglasses at Night – Corey Heart
The Sign – Ace of Base

The Superbowl Shuffle – The Chicago Bears Shufflin’ Crew
Surrender – Trixter
Sussudio – Phil Collins
Stuck on You – Huey Lewis and the News
Take a Chance on Me – Abba
Thong Song – Sisqo
Too Shy – Kajagoogoo
Treat Your Mother Right – Mr. T
Tub Thumping – Chumbawumba
Turn Up the Radio – Autograph
Two Princes – Spin Doctors
Unskinny Bop – Poison
Walk the Dinosaur – Was (Not Was)
Wannabe – Spice Girls
The Warrior – Scandal

We Built This City – Starship
Weird Science – Oingo Boingo
Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon
Wham Rap – Wham!
What’s up – 4 Non-Blondes
When the Children Cry – White Lion
Wild Wild West – Will Smith
With Arms Wide Open – Creed

With You – Jessica Simpson
Who Let the Dogs Out – Baha Men
The Wrestlerock Rumble – AWA Roster



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Category: LISTS

Tagged: ,

  • Kellee – Don’t you guys check the internets before you think we’ve made a mistake? Der Kommissar was performed, and was a hit, by Falco, two years before After the Fire’s version. They both were good at sucking, however.

  • Loreja

    Since my personal pick for the all-time worst song is not on the list ( “Timothy” by the Buoys- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGNdvKvbxYQ) my second choice is Wham Rap – Wham!

  • I’m surprise Mr. Roboto did not make the list.

    It looks like Toby Keith is in the lead with that RW&B song.

  • Isn’t Fergie in her own category?

  • Awww no “Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston? And where’s the Air Supply representation? They did plenty of crap songs-lead singer really grates on me. Hmmm…some really crappy ones up there, though, and a few that I’m not familiar with.

    OK using the criteria of “If I entered a bar and this song was playing I’d turn around an walk out” I’ll go with…”Muskrat Love – Captain and Tenille”. Geez so many really bad ones though. Was tough to narrow down.

  • Who the hell thinks ANY Oingo Boingo song is bad?! :( I am sad now.

    Anyways my vote is for ** Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith**
    That song is just bad and wrong on so many levels.

  • KelleeAnne

    Der Komissar is not by Falco. It was done by a band called “After the fire”.

  • sophiedangereux

    Well, most of those songs are pretty goddamned awful. I think pretty much anything by Creed should be erased from existence. Shame on you for putting Africa on that list! If any songs by Toto belong on this list it’s Roseanna.

  • I love so many of these songs… My favorite band (Oingo Boingo) is on there, damnit! Though, that’s the song the band doesn’t even like… I still like it, though. Bit overlong, I’ll admit. So much hate for the 80s on here. The Hooters and Chris DeBurgh… WEREWOLVES OF LONDON! All great songs! I could go on, but I won’t. Let me just pick one I actually hate… My vote goes to Toby Keith for Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue. That song makes me want to dig my brains out with a spoon.

  • The Final Countdown – The most useless song ever? Are you freaking nuts? It gave us some truly classic GOB moments, and is therefore AWESOME.

  • For the record, here are the songs I kinda like off this list:
    All Star
    Bad Day
    Cherry Pie
    Take a Chance on Me
    Tub Thumping (sorry)

    There are a few others I’m okay with (Afternoon Delight, Wannabe, What’s up) but for the most part I’m with everyone else in despising the rest.

  • mlightle3

    I’m gonna have to go with American Pie by Madonna, mostly because she deliberately and maliciously ruined a great song.

  • I have to admit, some of these are so bad that they’re fun. Having once had a room mate who was a karaoke DJ, I’m going to have to go with Billy Ray and Achy Breaky Heart. (I nearly went with Madonna’s version of American Pie, but since she cut a lot of the song out, she actually did people a favor because all the bad karaoke singers get done with her version faster.)

  • tscharf

    I’m sticking with my nomination. ‘All Star’ – Smash Mouth

    That song makes me want to fuck dead baby heads

  • Tee Spreck

    I’m going to have to vote BARBIE GIRL too. Simply based on the longest amount of time it remains lodged in my head after hearing it. Which has, of course just started up from simply thinking the damn name. Argh!

  • zach rodriguez

    im gonna have to go with K-Fed as putting the worst song out

  • quitevillainous

    Wannabe. Hands down. My Humps, Fergalicious, Dontcha, etc. wouldn’t exist without it. It turned girl power – and decades of progress for the whole female gender(of which I am not a member, for those who think I’m taking it personally, heh) – into a joke overnight. Impressive.

    The might this piece of crap has wielded is quite astonishing. I mean, sure, the other songs are bad songs, but this one… this one is pure evil.

  • Silly Pants

    Butterfly – Crazy Town Stupid stupid song.

  • refrigeratorelf

    At first it looked like it was going to be a difficult choice, but then I saw Popozao by K Fed. It truly deserved all the mockery it got.

    /If I raise both my hands, can I get it counted twice?

  • Not ONE Shatner song? :)
    Fine, I guess as a lifelong Patriots fan, I’ll vote for Superbowl Shuffle. Like so many others, I love a lot of the other horrible songs on the list.

  • Balalaika Gap

    It’s really hard to pick just one of these, but I have to go with “My Humps.” Cripes that song is creepy and bad.

  • Swykk

    Werewolves of London (Warren Zevon). Easily the worst song of all time.

  • Christmas Shoes.

  • One more thing: Disco Duck became a number-one hit on the Billboard Chart for one week in October of 1976 (and ranked #99 out of the 100 most popular songs of the year according to Billboard Magazine)! Everyone must have been high on cocaine! lol

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc5d01_riBo&feature=related

    The video didn’t post… ^^^ There’s the youtube link.

  • If we only get one vote, then I’m sticking to my nomination “Disco Duck.” I can’t convince those who may like it (if it brings back childhood memories, or some crap like that). But, seriously, satirical or not, the lyrics and the rip-off of Donald Duck’s voice and more… really suck! According to Dees, it took ONE DAY to write the song, but THREE MONTHS to convince anyone else to actually perform it! (A lot more history attached to this song.) Anyway, I’ll attempt to embed a video of one of his better live performances (full band and not the usual solo lip syncing he would do). Here are a few of the lyrics:

    All of a sudden I began to change.
    I was on the dance floor acting strange
    Flapping my arms I began to cluck
    Look at me… I’m the disco duck

    Duck: Ah get down mama, I’ve got to have me a woman, ha ha ha ha ha
    CHORUS: Disco, disco duck
    Duck: Got to have me a woman
    CHORUS: Disco, disco duck
    Duck:Oh get down mama
    CHORUS: Try your luck, DON’T BE A CLUCK, disco…

  • deadpool79mwam

    higher – creed. really any song from creed. I can stomach all of the other songs. In love with a stripper should be here too its a horrible song.

  • Chris – Werewolves of London actually got TWO VOTES. So I had to put it on. That and Freebird I disagree with most. That said, I also pretty strongly disagree with I Will Always Love You. I think it’s one of the better songs on the list, and a decent overblown pop ballad.

  • Caro – Queensryche got my okay because of the disgusting cloning Pink Floyd of it all. It really is fucking ridiculous.

  • TinEarTom

    The one I nominated was too obscure/old, but all things considered, nothing churns my stomach quite like Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American).” Ech.

  • caro__line

    For sure that would have to be Europe – The Final Countdown. I absolutely hate that song.

    But I’m quite shocked to find Queensryche – Silent Lucidty in here. What’s up with that?
    And there are a few others that I actually like (very much sometimes).

  • Any Tracy Chapman song makes me want to commit suicide. It’s like fingernails on chalk boards. I am shocked she did not make this list. Her voice makes me want to snuff it!

    But, from that list, I have to pick: Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

    The thing about most of the songs on that list is that most of them made BIG MONEY. So, we may not like them, but many, many people did like them. They bought them.

  • midorinosaru

    Fergalicious – Fergie

    She was adequate at providing backup writhing and moany fucky sounds for the Black Eyes Peas, but her solo career is retardalicious. We get it, you can spell. Now shut up.

    Tho she did a good job at being eaten by mutant zombie things in Planet Terror.

  • BarbaraMSD

    I, too, like some of the songs on this list. A few of them quite a lot, actually.

    It’s tough to choose, but since “Lady in Red” makes me want to punch Chris DeBurgh in the face for all I am worth, I’m gonna have to go that route. His pussy vocal delivery is seriously annoying.

  • I have to vote for Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky Heart.

    I used to live in the South on a farm and this song was the death of me.

  • delirium

    “Cherry Pie” – Warrant

  • You know, maybe I’m a terrible semanticist, but I feel there is a great disparity between “Worst” and “Most Annoying”. I’d contend that a great number of these songs weren’t that bad the first time we heard them, but grew more and more infuriating with each subsequent listen. The fact that I feel nauseated every time I hear “We Built This City” (and need to shout very loudly and inappropriately in order to prevent it from piercing my brain) doesn’t mean it’s a bad song necessarily; it has a clear grasp of harmony, rhythm, structure, &c. It makes my ears bleed, but it’s not really a BAD song.

    In fact, I’d maintain that any of the songs on this list that have ever gotten stuck in your head — the earworms — are actually GOOD songs, just ones not to your particular taste. It takes a certain degree of skill to manufacture a catchy song.

    To that end, I’ll probably have to go with SUPERBOWL SHUFFLE or CITY OF CRIME. Actually flawed as well as being impossible to listen to. Had I been more on the ball, I would have nominated this one Beat Happening song as actually being the worst, but hey, too late now.

  • Whenever I hear “Heat of the Moment,” I can’t help but stamp the floor and clap to the beat. It’s like some kind of automatic reaction. For a second I confused “Surrender” by Trixter with “Surrender” by Cheap Trick and was momentarily horrified, then I found the Trixter video on youtube, good god that sucked! Why the hell is “Heart of Rock and Roll” on this list??? And why does Toto’s “Africa” get such a bad rap?

    As for my vote, well, I’m sure there’s worse songs (“Treat Your Mother Right” by Mr. T is obviously terrible but it’s so amusingly campy, I can’t vote for that) No, I’m going to have to vote for the song that send spiky shards of pain down my spinal column whenever I hear it. My vote goes to “Photograph” by Nickleback.

  • MrsSlade

    I’m going with Butterfly by Crazy Town, every time I hear that song it gives me chills and I want to throw up.

  • Whoever the fuck voted for Warren Zevon should be ashamed of themselves, Zevon is brilliant!

    There are actual a handful of excellent tracks in this list, not a whole CDs worth but definitely 25-minutes or so…

    From that list, I’m going to have to go with I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston

  • slpierce

    I’m going to go with Barbie Girl by Aqua.

  • I’ll have to stay with my original nomination:

    Eddie Murphy – Party All The Time

    Check out the video here:

  • The Final Countdown – Europe – for sure – hated it the first time I heard it on the radio back in the day. The most useless song ever.

  • amv86

    James, I think you are starting to confuse yourself with a show on VH1 that will repeat every other hour and will inevitably spin off into different decades or genres.

    That said, I vote for Creed.

  • Dstrange – Too late for write-ins! Sorry!
    Nicof – There are a few songs on here I think are decent songs… but MOST of them? Wow.

  • drstrange32

    From the songs listed there’s a lot to choose from. I think I’d go with “Jump in My Car” – David Hasselhoff.

    I would like to submit for your approval a write in: “Stand by Me” as sung by Muhammad Ali

  • Toby Keith.

  • I’m ashamed to say that I LOVE some of those songs. And when I say “some” I mean “most”.

    …But the song that makes my skin crawl every time I hear it, most likely because of my time working at a karaoke bar, is “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes.

  • It was a very difficult choice, but I have to go with
    “Party All the Time – Eddie Murphy”. That is the worst song ever!

  • ThatGermanGuy

    I’m shocked by some of the nominees! I expected some of my favourites to be in it, but Ghostbusters? Some people just have NO taste!

    But I got no idea which song I should vote for. It’s pretty much head to head between Fergalicious and Jenny From The Block. And the Wham Rap is awful too. Sheesh, I have to throw a few coins first.