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My Tween Dream

Last night I had a dream that my friend Steve Agee, my brother Sean Gunn, and I were starring in a new tween show for the Disney channel.  The horrifying storyline was this…

Three cute, unoffensively sexy fifteen-year-old girls – Lacey, Amber, and Katerina – are best friends and also a three-girl singing tween act.  However, their fame and money have gone to their heads; they’ve become vain, materialistic snobs.  One day they go to the mall, and they’re mean to an old hag who asks them for money or something.  They say no, and then walk away, making fun of the atrocious clothes she’s wearing.  They don’t know the hag is a gypsy.  She puts a curse on the three girls.

The next morning, the three girls wake up looking like me, Steve Agee, and my brother Sean.

MEET LACEY!

AMBER!

AND KATERINA! 

To the rest of the world they still look like the hot fifteen-year-old girls they really are, but to themselves and each other (and the Disney audience) they look like us!  So we have to watch them interact in their everday lives, getting in conflicts with their parents and siblings, but as three grown men.  In the episode we were filming in my dream (yes, my dreams can be strangely cohesive), Sean (Katerina) was falling in love with a young boy who looked kind of like a younger version of Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Saved by the Bell.  Every episode also featured a tween pop song sung by the three of us, with very elaborate dance routines.  In addition to the creepy Sean/Mark-Paul Gosselaar love story, I mostly remember working on a dance routine with Steve.  (Lacey was the lead singer).  The best part is that the three cute girls at the beginning of the pilot are never seen again – it is actually an entire series of thin Hannah Montana plots starring three men.  I’m pretty sure this is exactly what the Disney channel is looking for.

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