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Evolution Fucked Your Shit Up: The World’s 50 Freakiest Animals

Seapig

Ajolote

Aye-Aye

Chinese Giant Salamander

Pygmy Jerboa

Giant Isopod

Thorny Devil Lizard

It shall also be noted that these sons-of-bitches shoot blood out of their eyes as a defense mechanism.

Hagfish

Hairy Frog

Human-Faced Carp


Seadevil

Proboscis Monkey

Goblin Shark

Purple Frog

Pygmy Marmoset

Sea Dragon

Tarsier

 

It’s been pointed out to me that Sonya, in the video above, is not actually a tarsier but a slow loris.  Still, I’m keeping the video up ’cause she’s cute as hell.

Axolotl

"I am a sign that the devil is real and Jesus never happened. Hooray!"

Angler Fish

Angora Rabbit

Blobfish

He does indeed look like Ziggy.

Candiiru

Okay, so the Candiru may not be the freakiest-LOOKING animal, but it is the only one that will swim up your penis and LODGE ITSELF IN THERE. Seriously, seriously, seriously: Fuck you, Candiru. Fuck you so, so hard, you piece-of-shit animal.

Wrinkle-Faced Bat

Giant Soft-Shelled Turtle

Dugong

Dumbo Octopus

Monkfish

Elephant Shrew

Geoduck

Giant Coconut Crab

Glass Frog

Hooded Seal

Liger

Note the size of this motherfucker; ligers are bigger than both tigers and lions.

These dudes escaped from the Phantom Zone and the first thing they want are our ligers!!

Long-Beaked Echidna

To himself, everything is perfectly normal.

Long-Eared Jerboa

Naked Mole Rat

Narwhal

Olm

Malay Eagle Owl

Pangolin

Pink Fairy Armadillo

Platypus

Rosy Lipped Batfish

Yeti Crab

Tubifex Worms

Saiga Antelope

"If you let me impregnate your wife I will bless you with riches unimagined!"

Star-Nosed Mole

Sucker-Foot Bat

"Hey, guys, what’s up? How’s it goin’? Deal my shit in."

Turtle Frog

Weta

Thanks to everyone who sent me these weird fucking dudes on Twitter.

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  • Sean

    Ligers are human-made. They shouldn’t be on this list. Also they are sterile and retarded.

  • nigger

    brian

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  • Gregg Park

    The douchebaggery on both sides here is palpable. I have always found it odd that one has to take sides. I’m no Bible reader or churchgoer but I believe in God and consider myself faithful and Christian. I think these are evidence that God has a sense of humor :-) I don’t really envision the Church’s version of a grey haired man with a flowing beard and such. More a higher consciousness and purpose that is greater than us as individuals. Is evolution real? Sure. Why? Because God. Not interested in arguing about it. That’s my view and I’m not going to try to shove it down anyone’s throat. Live and let live you angry bastards :-)

  • Bob

    of course you know a liger does not occur in nature…. they must be bred that way, so maybe they should not be on your list

  • Nature snapper

    Who are the photographers? Good stuff.

  • JimmyLaFlemme

    Just… Just give me a flamethrower ! :s

  • phil

    a Liger is just a cross between a Male Lion and a female Tiger. hence the size. A Tion is a hybrid from a female Lion and a male Tiger

  • It is all in the details

    More – More – More – how do I like it? I absolutely am facinated by it

  • metropolitannyc

    the “Thorny Devil Lizard” is better known in the USA as the “horny toad” and they’re found in Texas.

  • http://twitter.com/ArthurHinty Arthur

    I was relieved you didn’t post a photo of me naked.

  • Claidi

    Ligers aren’t actually a species. They’re a cross-breed like a mule and so they are sterile and can’t make babies even if they breed with other ligers. But they’re still pretty neat.

  • druck

    go home nature. you´r drunk

  • Beth

    You forgot the Pipa Pipa frog.

  • jakethomas

    Un, You can definitely have evolution and god. I’m not a bible hugger and I’m not passionate about evolution, but I do think one can lead to the other. In other words, This shit is scary.

  • Jacky

    where’s a nudibranch or a mantis shrimp? Everything else was awesome!

  • Freegoddess

    As usual, a human being declares other creatures ugly as if we set the standard for all of nature. The ultimate arrogance considering we’re the ones destroying the planet. NOW THAT’S UGLY!

  • Zep92

    Is it just me, or do most of these look incredibly phallic?

  • Hyra

    1 Question, is all the swearing necessary??

    • Jesus

      You fucking bet your shitty ass it is!

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  • fennakisu

    God has created amazing animals ! :)

  • derr

    i wonder if any of them are self conscious about their looks

  • Kraai

    Yeaaaahhh… I got a problem with this list.

    First of all, evolution didn’t fuck anything up. They all developed attributes based on their environments and surrounding species. If there was any animal evolution fucked, it’s the panda.

    Second, evolution had nothing to do with the liger or angora rabbit. That was a little something called homo sapiens.

    • CTFS

      Just ’cause people helped make that happen, doesn’t mean that shit didn’t evolve.

  • uhs77

    It would appear that Dr. Moreau has been quite busy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.mccauley.9 Mark McCauley

    Do you use chlorine or bromine in your gene pool?

  • http://twitter.com/johnmeckem John Meckem

    Hey! They found Perry!!!!

  • Joana

    Ligers are NOT evolution!! They were an experiment made by humans and they are sterile. Tigers and lions dont even share the same habitat!

    • Liliger

      Yeah, not so much “sterile” as not often allowed to breed by zookeepers.

      In September 2012, the Russian Novosibirsk Zoo announced the birth of a “liliger”, which is the offspring of a liger mother and a lion father. The cub was named Kiara.

    • Jeremy Kinison

      Just cause people helped, doesn’t mean shit didn’t evolve.

  • Erik

    Needs more Surinam Toad

  • Seanothan

    And then God said… “Let there be real life Pokemons. Real life Pokemons everywhere!”

  • Lyn

    Ligers don’t really belong to that list, I’d say, as there are no 2nd generation ligers so far. Not much evolution there, just rare cases of freak mating.

  • Anon

    What? No Rhinopias frondosa?!? (Weedy scorpionfish)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/kb8yjv Mark Arnold

    the picture of the tubifex worm is not correct.

  • kathleen

    fantastic, thank you.

  • Dana Blanche

    The Liger has nothing to do with evolution. That’s humans fucking with genetics and cross bredding. Think would not last in the wild. The rest of this shit is cool as fuck!

    • Chan Mac

      Actually they did exist in the wild when territories were over lapping…
      Its the very same principal as Grolar bears…

    • Jeremy Kinison

      People fucking with shit doesn’t mean that an evolution didn’t happen.

  • http://www.facebook.com/fweibin Fong Wei Bin

    It’s because of too much interracial, not evolution

  • Anthony

    A lot of these are damn freaky-looking, but some are rather cute I think. And what’s so freaky about a platypus?

    • http://www.facebook.com/forrestfaeri Nadine Donovan

      Mammals aren’t supposed to lay eggs….this one is the only one that does.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Absentia Absentia Xuicoatl

        its not the only one. echidnas lay eggs as well

        • http://twitter.com/stetho Steve Thompson

          Echidnas are even weirder because they do the monotreme egg laying thing and then put it in a marsupial pouch. They really are a big mix up of evolution.

  • Dr. Piranha

    Is that Nicolas Cage feeding the liger with a baby bottle? Also, the second picture of the Rosy Lipped Batfish looks like my grandmother.

  • Zootlander

    the olm reminds me of god u dnt ever see it u dnt no wat it looks like and it probably dont exist

  • Madsam

    Olm…….. so thats where the abortions go ….. its all so clear now

  • Madsam

    lol the Turtle Frog must of got caught in a past nuclear explosion

  • Madsam

    i agree with you zootlander ….. there is no god there is proof ……. also stop hiding the cure for cancer

  • Zootlander

    i beleive in science and darwin

  • Zootlander

    whats god done for us iant ever one the lottery hes a wanker

  • Zooltlander

    god can go fukk himserllf



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