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22 CRAPPY THINGS JESUS HAS DONE

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Sure, Jesus has done a lot of incredible stuff.  I hear people talking about it all the time: “Thank you, Jesus, for this meal we’re about to eat,” or “Wow, the Grand Canyon is just astounding – how can you look at that and not believe in God?”   I’m not denying Jesus all that good […]


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MY 25 FAVORITE FUCKING SONGS OF 2008

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

MY 25 FAVORITE FUCKING SONGS OF 2008 1. NO SONG – Second Band In 2008, one group stood out above all others – the Swedish THE SECOND BAND. You’ve probably never heard of them unless you’ve seen me pumping them in my status updates, or you’re a huge GREY’S ANATOMY fan (their wonderful song, WILD […]


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25 FUCKING THINGS I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Dear God/Santa Claus/Jesus, I know I haven’t been that fucking good this year.  I know that my wife is really, really nice, and I can be kind of a dick sometimes (I read it on a message board).  I know I could have gotten more work done and I’ve been a little, uh, princessy, figuring […]


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5 Lists of 5

Monday, November 13, 2006

I know what you guys want, and it’s lists.  I know you’re jonesing.  It’s been a while since I’ve posted any lists, so here are 5 LISTS OF 5: THE 5 WOMEN I PLEASURED MYSELF TO MOST AS A TEENAGER If these women were standing anywhere near me from the ages of 13 to 19, […]


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CRIB DEATH & ROOT BEER: 100 THINGS I FUCKING HATE

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Everyone’s got to rant now and again.  After all, I don’t want to be too big-puppy-eyes on this blog.  I am a horror film maker, after all.  So, in honor of my elitism and bad attitude, here are 100 things that suck my ass.  Yeah, I know, this brings up the potential for a lot […]


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100 THINGS I FUCKING LOVE (PART 1 of 1000)

Friday, July 7, 2006

(in no particular order…) 1.    Pogo the Possum 2.    Jaws 3.    Head massages 4.    Codex Seraphinianus 5.    Sergio Leone 6.    Rue Morgue Magazine 7.    Jenna 8.    The Naked Kiss 9.    Rom, Spaceknight


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WHY PIXAR’S CARS FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT

Thursday, June 29, 2006

 I went with my nephew Griffin to see Pixar’s CARS.  I didn’t like it.  Not only did it seem like a pale, by-the-numbers, commercially-pandering imitation of Pixar’s other, more soulful films, the Cars themselves freaked me the fuck out.  I felt very frustrated while watching the whole movie thinking about all the specifics of the […]


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